Dating apps are both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it’s never been easier to meet someone and snag a date. On the other hand, apps have made dating something you can do anywhere at any time- making dating much more complicated, fleeting and devastating. Sending out numerous messages, finding yourself ignored, possibly ghosted or spending days or weeks on end being strung along, are all messy unpleasant parts of the dating app game. Dating apps have definite pros and cons, but we can all agree that constantly swiping and messaging has become mindless. It’s a second-nature, force of habit routine that we do when we think that right match could be just a swipe away.
Devoting all of your energy to finding the “right” one can be exhausting. If you’re actively dating and you want to find a partner it may seem necessary to prioritize constantly swiping, matching and messaging. Developing anxiety and dating FOMO is a reality that many singles face when they’re looking for their next hot date or a lasting relationship.
NYC relationship expert Rachel Sussman, LCSW says, “I don’t think it’s a good thing to constantly be doing anything,” she says. “Think of the things you have to do, like sleeping or eating: They’re good for you, but not if you’re doing them all the time. Everything in moderation is key.”
If dating apps have you feeling worn out, it’s okay to give them up until you’re ready to start using them again. If a relationship is something that is important to you, it’s important to keep your options open and to put yourself out there – but it’s also important to take care of your needs so that you’re able to put your best self out there.
Sussman explains, “You have to find ways to make it not exhausting for yourself…If you want a relationship, you have to still put in the work, just like how someone looking for a job still has to apply and go on interviews, even though it’s exhausting.”
How can you continue to swipe, date and avoid dating app fatigue? Set boundaries for yourself! Sussman recommends setting limits on the amount of time that you spend on dating apps to prevent yourself from burning out. This can be as simple as going on Tinder every other day, allowing yourself a certain window of time to swipe and message, or only using apps during the weekend. Sussman also suggests letting your matches know that you’re only available on the app at certain times–if they’re really interested in you, you can give them your number and let the sparks fly from there!
If you’re completely exhausted from swiping and you’d rather stay away from dating apps altogether, there are other ways that you can continue to date without having to open an app. You can always meet someone volunteering, at a concert, or at a night out with friends. There’s no end to the amount of places you can meet someone in IRL!
When you’re looking for love dating apps may seem like the most viable option. With so many people across so many different platforms, there’s no limit to the number of matches you can find! These helpful little apps also make it easy to put ourselves out there, but they aren’t the only way to find a suitable partner. If dating apps are more stressful than they are fun, keep Sussman’s advice in mind! Dating doesn’t have to rob you of your joy! The key is finding balance, so that you can happily date without feeling run down by the dating game.
