5 Traits Relationship Experts Say You Should Look for in a Partner

Everyone has their list of must-haves and deal breakers when it comes to finding love. Chances are you’ve got a pretty detailed list of the qualities that you’re looking for in a partner. According to relationship experts, that list of traits can be broken down to a few simple characteristics that will lead to a long-lasting, loving, nurturing relationship. Read on to discover 5 traits that relationship experts recommend checking off when looking for that special someone.

Similar Travel Preferences

If you’re curious about your compatibility with your new partner, just ask them about their travel plans. Simply asking your new sweetheart about their ideal vacation can give you a lot of insight into who they are and your chances of long-term compatibility.

Planning a trip with your sweetheart? There’s nothing like a wonky travel itinerary, or sharing tight quarters together to give you a surefire glimpse into your future as a couple. Are you someone who loves to stay in five-star hotels or would you rather backpack and sleep in hostels? Maybe your partner loves local day trips and you’d rather travel somewhere far off and unknown. These are all important things to consider when choosing that special someone!

Kindness

If you ignore any of the other traits on this list, don’t forgo this one. Kindness is an important, rare trait. If you’re looking for a partner, make sure to discover if they’re kind or not. Greta Tufvesson, co-founder of the matchmaking firm The BEVY says, “Kindness—and we mean genuine kindness—is not a trait that all people have, and it’s probably the most singularly-important quality that our members look for…Because we are so picky about who we take into our membership, we will not work with anyone we don’t deem a genuinely kind soul.”

Kindness is king when it comes to the dating game. Studies have shown that selflessness makes both men and women more desirable when it comes to finding a long-term partner.

Relatable Life Experiences

Talia Goldstein, founder of the matchmaking company Three Day Rule says, “Common experiences help bond people together.” She continues, “It helps to come from similar types of families and have common experiences or upbringings…Someone who grew up close with their family is going to be more receptive to and better understand someone who would choose family over everything, for example.” On the other hand, she says that if someone had a difficult childhood, or endured many hardships they would be able to relate and sympathize with someone who struggled with adversity and hard times.

Passion

Passion may not look the way you expect it to when it comes to a potential partner. When you’re trying to connect to a love interest they may not be passionate about their job- but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t passionate about other aspects of their lives! Tufvesson says, “Not everyone is passionate about their job, and maybe it’s just a stepping stone to bigger dreams,” When you’re getting to know your love interest make sure to ask them about what fires them up!

Compatible Core Values

Goldstein says, “At the end of the day, a law degree is just a law degree and tennis is just tennis…Steer clear of picking someone based on career or hobbies—these things, for better or for worse, come and go.” She emphasizes the importance of picking a partner who shares your core values because, “These values dictate the way you live your life, and they’re the things that will keep you both grounded when times are tough.” Core values rank high on her list of traits to look for in a potential partner. Core values rank so high that she suggests writing down your top three core values and putting them on your “do not compromise” list.

The co-founder of The BEVY, Nikki Lewis, also suggests looking into your potential partners aspirations. She says, “If your goal is to get married and start a family, we would introduce you to someone who wants the same,” she says. “Once you start on that foot, you’re already 50 percent of the way to success by sheer virtue of meeting someone who is aligned similarly.”

What’s on your must-have list? Were any of these qualities on your list as well? As you can see, choosing a partner who has a similar mindset to you is important for the longevity of a relationship. You and your partner may not be identical in all ways, however having common ground on little things like travel preferences, and big things like passion and core values, goes a long way in the longevity of a relationship.