Do you know the signs to look for in an emotionally dependent partner? How can you tell the difference between someone being in love with you versus emotional dependency? Do you know the tell-tale red flags to look for?
The line between being in love and being emotionally dependent on your partner can be a very thin one. It can be difficult to distinguish whether or not your partner’s actions are those of someone who has an unhealthy attachment versus someone who is expressing normal indications of being in love.
The following list from relationship expert, Margaret Paul, is an excellent launching off point to determine whether or not you or your partner are exhibiting emotionally codependent behavior. While this list is a helpful tool in assessing your partner’s behavior, it’s important to remember to trust your gut when it comes to looking for warning signs and red flags. No matter how well someone presents themselves on the outside, or how determined they are to convince you of their intentions, if you don’t feel it, you should trust your instincts. Learn how to trust your inner guidance system and look out for these warning signs below:
- Aggressively pursues you at the beginning of the relationship and consumes all of your time.
- Appears charming and magnetic, but takes very little interest in what you’re saying, is a poor listener and isn’t attuned to your feelings. They frequently try to manipulate your feelings and tell you that your feelings are wrong.
- Has little interest in learning from relationship conflict. Takes offense, becomes withdrawn and sulks when you don’t do what they want you to do.
- Sexually demanding and uses sex for validation.
- You feel emotionally drained by their energy and feel responsible for their emotions and feelings. You sense an emptiness in them and feel responsible for fulfilling their voids.
- Extremely jealous and possessive. They frequently become angry when you want time to yourself, see your friends, and pursue your own activities.
- They have an abusive or traumatic past and can’t seem to heal from their traumas.
- Doesn’t respect your boundaries and is possessive. They will often intrude on your personal time, and don’t have healthy limits regarding how often you see each other, text or talk on the phone.
- Dishonest. You often catch them in lies or they sidestep the truth.
- Has no interests or hobbies.
- Has few friends.
- Highly judgmental of themselves and others.
