5 Dating Rules You Don’t Have to Follow According to Relationship Experts
It’s time to toss out the old rule book on dating! Turns out there are some outdated dating rules and behaviors that dating and relationship experts can all agree on. Read on to discover 5 of the top dating rules that you don’t have to follow anymore.
Thinking You Should Immediately Have A Spark
In Hollywood, everyone has instant chemistry. In the real world, you and your love interest may not have an immediate spark – and that’s okay!
Erika Kaplan of Three Day Rule explains, “Sometimes looking for initial ‘chemistry’ can be an extremely limiting factor…Half the time that initial pull is indicative of lust, not even love, so if you are intrigued after a first date, give it a fair shot to see if chemistry grows with getting to know each other.”
Treating Dating Like A Job
We all know that person who treats dating like a fulltime job. They treat their dates like a job interview, schedule a certain amount of dates in a week and have specific dating quotas and requirements that they have to fill. This is an exhausting way to treat romance.
“Sure, dating can feel labor-intensive and tiresome, and if you let it, it can consume up to 12 hours a week (how long the average online dater spends swiping!…But don’t consider dating a job, and don’t consider dates an interview.” She continues, “When dating becomes a job and dates become interviews, date conversation ends up being two people prying for information on if the other checks the boxes.”
Kaplan suggests abandoning the idea of dating as searching for a romantic partner. Instead, look at it as meeting someone new!
Waiting 3 Days To Respond
We’re not entirely sure who made up this rule, but it’s definitely a dating rule that needs to die. Erika Ettin, founder and CEO of A Little Nudge and host of the podcast, “So, We Met Online,”says, “We’re all connected to our phones…And we’re all adults. If you like someone, contact that person in a timely fashion. If a quick response turns someone off, then that’s [their] problem — not yours.”
Kaplan also believes that this idea is a silly one. “We totally do not advocate for that — in fact, our company’s name is actually making fun of dating rules in general.” She continues, “If you like someone, don’t play the waiting game — call or text the next day!“
Avoid Asking Serious Questions Early On
How many times have you heard,”keep things light in the beginning” and “avoid any heavy, serious topics”? Have you typically heard that it’s a major dating no-no to bring up topics like politics or religion on the first date? Guess what? Talking about these kinds of topics are actually a great way to get to know someone, and a great way to determine whether or not this is someone you want to go on a second date with.
Stef Safran of Stef and the City says, “If you are going out on lots of first dates and find that people aren’t looking for serious relationships, then ask some more serious questions.”
OkCupid conducted a study that showed that individuals who discussed politics on a first date had a better chance of having a great date! Don’t be afraid to talk about serious topics – you have everything to gain and nothing to lose!
Thinking You’ll Know If You Found ‘The One’ Right Away
Safran says, “We keep seeing all of these celebrities getting engaged within weeks or months of knowing each other…Instead of assuming that ‘instant click,’ learn how to understand that most quality long-term couples, didn’t know right away or even months later. Sometimes that slow pot to boil is the one that can be the better choice.”
If anyone could immediately tell who The One is for them, there would be far less divorces and breakups. Dating would be seamless and we could instinctually weed out who is and who isn’t right for us.
Rules were meant to be broken, so get out there have fun and see where your new dating rules take you!
