Whether you’re about to head down the aisle, you’re in the beginning of a new and exciting relationship, or you’re wondering if it’s time to take your relationship to a new level, it’s always a good idea to check in with yourself at all stages of your love life.
Asking yourself the hard questions is an important step to take at any given point in a relationship — especially if you’re about to get married. No matter where you are in your relationship, take the time to know the answers to these questions before making a lifelong commitment.
Am I with a good person?
As it stands today, could you get behind your partner and vouch for them as a friend?
Do my partner and I accept one another?
Are you waiting for your partner to change? Do you feel as if you can’t be your genuine self around your partner? You and your partner should be able to accept each for the unique, yet flawed individuals you are.
Why am I in this relationship?
Face the reasons behind your decision to be with this person. Is it because they lighten the financial load, you’re afraid of being alone, or you’re comfortable with the life you’ve built with this person? Or is it because you value, love, respect and trust them?
Do I feel trapped?
Are you staying in this relationship because of the time you’ve put into the relationship or are you devoted to your partner?
Do I trust my partner?
Without trust there’s no chance for a healthy relationship.
Am I still me?
Do you know who you are? Knowing who you are will let you know if your partner is a good match for you.
Am I attracted to my partner?
Settling for a person because they’re “good on paper” or you’re comfortable with having them around will only create resentment and spawn rejection. While physical attraction isn’t everything in a relationship, if you’re not attracted to your partner, set them free.
Are we headed in the same direction?
Have you discussed topics such as children, finances, where to live, and religion? Be sure to have these talks now before things get too complicated.
Am I a parent or a partner in this relationship?
Nobody wants a partner who acts like their parent. Taking care of your partner can be a natural, loving instinct, but if you’ve taken on the role of the parent in the relationship, you’ll eventually grow to resent your partner.
What is my gut telling me?
Always trust your intuition.
Am I happy to be in this relationship?
A healthy relationship doesn’t mean being with someone to complete you, ease your loneliness or to make you happy. However, if your home life is making you miserable, it will seep into other areas of your life. While you don’t necessarily have to leave the relationship, it may be a good idea to seek counseling before you head to the alter.
